Homemade Cookiewiches

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My friend Jake had no idea what a cookiewich was… he thought I was going to draw a witch onto a cookie…

He’s crazy! yeah that’s right I just blasted you on the internet…

maybe you were to busy eating and drinking maple syrup as a kid ya crazy red head!

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I should have made alcohol… to prepare myself to the hell I was going to walk into this weekend for work…

I guess tollhouse and ice will do. I survived… But here is a tip… If something is in the title of the product you are getting it is more than 99% likely in the product you want, yes raisins are in the rum raisin ice cream… next time I will say unicorns and glitter are in the product and give you magical powerscookiewiches 006

Yes… I’m ending my rant now…

so here is my thing when you buy cookiewiches, there is never enough ice cream so I piled it on there.

all of your childhood dream came true…

COOKIEWICHES

1 chocolate chip cookie recipe I used tollhouse I did cut the recipe in half twice to make a quarter batch I got 6 cookies to make 3 sandwiches

vanilla ice cream or any flavor you want

follow directions on how to make the cookies you are doing to bake let cool pile on the ice cream sandwich the cookies and enjoy!

Smores Bars

smores bars 009I’m looking out the window… It’s raining.

Le Roi is sitting on my shoulder like a parrot… Maybe we can be pirates for Halloween.

I’ve been kinda just laying in bed. This happens a lot when I get way to many days off in a row.

Have you noticed yet I don’t have a big social life?

I miss my mother.

I made smores bars to kinda cure that.

I’m stuck in a rut!

smores bars 002Among many things my mother made these when I was younger. This is when homemade goodies were allowed to be inside schools.

Not like this cured my rut but it helped.

it’s easy peasy lemon squeezey.

smores bars 004I’m sitting here with a cat on my shoulder, listening to  The Wallflowers (oh Jakob Dylan you’re cute but you’re a pompous jerk because of your daddy), eating gooey smores bars drinking hot cocoa… I mean this could be an issue I’m not really sure yet I guess we will find out.

I’m ready for fall. I’m always ready for fall. It’s my favorite season!

Is it weird I associate smores with the fall? Maybe, since most people associate them with summer.

But when I think of smores I think of bonfires, cozy times, and hoodies. I mean who wants to be around a fire in 100 degree weather and heat index of 100%? Not me that’s just god awful

Anyway I’m going to stop rambling because that is what this post has become and post this recipe.

I’m going to the museum tomorrow so maybe I’ll get out of this rut!

Gooey Smores Bars

9 squares out of a 8×8 inch pan

1 bag (10.5 oz) miniature marshmallows (Save one cup of marshmallows for later)

1 1/2 cups milk chocolate chips (9 oz)

5 tablespoons butter or margarine (I used butter)

1/4 cup light corn syrup or honey (I used honey)

1 teaspoon vanilla

6 cups Golden Graham’s Cereal (I used an off brand tastes the same)

 

Grease 13×9-inch pan with butter. Or 8×8 pan if you prefer thicker bars Reserve 1 cup of the marshmallows. In a large saucepan, melt the chocolate chips, butter, corn syrup and remaining marshmallows over low heat. Stir until completely melted. Remove from heat; stir in vanilla. Pour cereal into saucepan. Stir until coated with the melted chocolate mixture. Stir in remaining 1 cup marshmallows. With buttered back of spoon, press mixture in pan. Cool at least 1 hour or until firm. Store loosely covered at room temperature.

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Oatmeal Cream Pies

oatmeal cream pies 005How many people are obsessed with the filling in the middle of an oatmeal cream pie?

I kinda am… I mean I go to a bakery and they say they have an oatmeal cream pie, I then get excited and buy it. I later get sad after I bite it. so gross it usually a big clump of cream cheese icing. I mean honestly if I wanted that I would have ordered an oatmeal cookie whoopie pie. It usually has a hard cookie too and that is just nasty. Take your stale cookie and cream cheese else where.

these are like the ones from the box but way better!

oatmeal cream pies 001Only difference is I sneak carrots in my oatmeal cookies all the time. It’s like a tick but you don’t even notice the carrots it’s a way of getting people to eat their carrots. These cookies are soft and delicious.

oatmeal cream pies 002The filling is marshmellow-y just less sticky. It melts in your mouth.

oatmeal cream pies 003Top view…

oatmeal cream pies 004Side view…

Oatmeal Creme Pies

Unsalted Butter   1 cup

Dark Brown Sugar  3/4 cup

Sugar  1/2 cup

Molasses  1 tablespoon

Vanilla Extract  1 tablespoon

Eggs   2

Flour  1  1/2 cups

Salt  [ 1/2 teaspoon ]

Baking Soda  1 teaspoon

Cinnamon  1/8 teaspoon

Quick Oats  1  1/2 cups

Carrots 1 cup shreadded

filling

Very Hot Water  2 teaspoons

Salt   1/4 teaspoon

Marshmallow Cream  1 jar – 7 ounces

Shortening   1/2 cup

Powdered Sugar   1/3 cup

Vanilla Extract  1/2 teaspoon

Heat oven to 350 degrees. In the bowl of a mixer, cream Butter, Brown Sugar, Sugar, Molasses, Vanilla and Eggs. In a second bowl, mix Flour, Salt, Baking Soda and Cinnamon. Add Flour Mixture to Butter Mixture. Mix Oats into Dough. Drop tablespoonfuls of Dough onto ungreased cookie sheets. Bake until edges just begin to brown, 10-12 minutes.Cool completely.

Place Salt in small bowl. Pour Hot Water over Salt and stir until Salt has completely dissolved.  Set aside to cool. In the bowl of a mixer, combine Marshmallow Cream, Shortening, Powdered Sugar and Vanilla Extract until light and fluffy. Add cooled Salt Water to Filling and mix to combine. Sandwich cooled Cookies with a healthy dollop of Filling between them.     

[Note: this amount of filling might seem meager to frosting monsters like myself.  You might want to consider doubling it.  What could it hurt?]
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Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies

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Most ridiculous stories start with one of a few lines. “Remember our last night in Boston…?”  ”So it seemed like a good idea at the time, but…” and “When I was eighteen…”

 

When I was eighteen.

 

I bought a pack of cigarettes on my eighteenth birthday.  ten years years ago.  My mom rolled in her grave.  No wait… dad I still have them unopened.  A friend called me a masochist.  I wonder if she remembers that.  It made me wonder what she knew about masochism.

 

I got them on a whim.  Mostly because I could and I did.  No wait… it was more than that.  I felt like the only way at the time I could show I was an adult and be “free”… It was better than picking out a tattoo showing my  individuality was with a Japanese character  I picked out of a plastic-coated tattoo artist book.  I probably would have only lived to be eighteen.

 

This pack of cigarettes is the first in a long string of impulsive things I could do and did do as an adult in the world… including but not limited to: Going to a few northern/ southern states and only $973 and staying in them unemployed, that one thing I did on that bridge, and all the ridiculous things my Dad should not know about, ever… thanks.

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This pack of cigarettes aren’t a sign of freedom to me anymore.  It’s a sign of this impulse that lives inside me.  The impulse that packs up and moves to Miami.  The impulse that runs recklessly through a thunderstorm (though one should never involve oneself with the words reckless and thunderstorm).  It’s the impulse that totally knocked that drink out of your hand while we were dancing.

 

It’s the outward expression of I’m sorry/I’m totally not sorry.

 

On a scale of 1 to tacky…. it’s totally tacky.  Let’s just be real.  I’m sorry sometimes… but I take it back, because it’s just me.

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You know what’s amazing?

 

When you add it all up.  The moving here and there and there, the friends come and gone, the text books, the early morning baker’s hours, the scrapes, the scars, the dinners and drinks, and flights and fights.. the big loves, that thing on the bridge… when you add all up, it’s so weird that the sum of these parts is a bad decision on buying a pack of now stale cigarettes, a cat, baguette, and this space on the internet.

 

I never could have known…

Brown Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies with Pecans

 

makes 24 cookies

 

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon salt

 

1 teaspoon baking soda

 

1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

 

1 cup packed light brown sugar

 

2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract

 

1 teaspoon molasses

 

1/2 cup granulated sugar

 

1 large egg

 

1 large egg yolk

 

1/2 cup coarsely chopped pecans

 

1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips

 

coarse sea salt for sprinkling

 

In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, salt and baking soda.  Set aside.

 

Start by browning 1/2 cup (1 stick) butter.  In a medium skillet, melt butter over medium heat.  Once the butter has melted completely, it will begin to foam and froth as it cooks.  The butter will also crackle and pop.  That’s the water cooking out of the butter.  Swirl the pan occasionally, and keep an eye on the melted butter.  The butter will become very fragrant and brown bits will begin to form at the bottom of the pan.  Once the bits are an amber brown, immediately remove pan from the heat and pour browned butter (bits and all) into a small bowl.  Leaving the butter in the pan will burn it.  Allow butter to cool for 20 minutes.

 

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment, cream remaining 1/2 cup of butter with brown sugar.  Cream on medium speed until light and fluffy, about 3 to 5 minutes.  Add the vanilla extract and molasses and beat until incorporated.

 

Once the brown butter has cooled slightly, pour the butter (brown bits and all) into the creamed butter and sugar mixture.  Add the granulated sugar and cream for 2 minutes, until well incorporated.  Add the egg and egg yolk and beat for 1 minute more.

 

Stop the mixer and scrape the bottom of the bowl to ensure that everything is evenly mixed.  Add the flour mixture, all at once to the butter mixture and beat on low-speed until the flour is just incorporated.  Remove the bowl from the stand mixer and use a spatula to fold in pecans and chocolate chips.

 

Spoon batter onto a piece or parchment paper or plastic wrap and wrap into a disk or cylinder and seal at both ends.  Allow to rest in the fridge for at least 30 minutes.

 

Place racks in the center and upper third of the oven and preheat oven to 350 degrees f.  Line two baking sheets with parchment paper.  Scoop dough by the two tablespoonful onto prepared sheets.  Be sure to leave about 2-inches of space between each cookie.

 

Bake for 12 to 14 minutes of until cookies are golden brown.  Remove from the oven and allow to rest on the baking sheet for 5 minutes.  Serve warm or allow to cool completely.  Cookies are best enjoyed within a few days.  Duh.

Irish Car Bomb Brownies

st patricks day 028So last year I made these cupcakes.

This year I said let’s try making it a brownie… Here is the thing.

I kinda cheated…

I sorta kinda used a box mix and substituted the water with Guinness.

I was being lazy.

maybe because I was drinking too many of these… milkshakes and taking too many shots of this.

st patricks day 029I also failed at this haha I though I would try and be cute and make them into shamrocks…

Fail whale!

good thing I only did it to four of them and I just ate the scraps anyways.

When in doubt just eat it.

Hey I’m already Irish I don’t need to impress anyone!

What’s your excuse?

Yeah that’s what I thought.

st patricks day 026Here are some facts that may or may not be true about St. Patrick’s day

One Day St. Patrick he tried to tell the irish people about the holy trinity. He was like “its like a shamrock. the father, the son and the holy moley.” The irish people were like “woah, God’s a  shamrock?” He responded “Close enough.” That’s why the irish take the shamrock so serious. If you don’t wear one they’ll pinch you and stuff. Other wise you’ll be antichrist.

St. Patrick’s Day is celebrated March 17th which is the day St. Patrick died. It’s like christmas… for the irish. Everyone gets drunk on St. Patrick’s day. Irish Americans get extra drunk and celebrate all week. In Ireland they celebrate all year.

Irish people go around saying “kiss me, I’m irish!” all that kissing is the reason why they have such huge families…

St. Patrick invented a lot of stuff. Like river Dancing, the shamrock shake, the hug fight, public urination and white basketball.

Just to be clear this isn’t true and I don’t talk like that.

Irish Car Bomb Brownies

1 box of brownie mix

Guinness mine called for 1/4 cup of water I replaced it with Guinness and did 1/3 cup instead

oil

1 egg

For baking follow Directions on the Box.

Irish Cream Glaze

1/2 cup powder sugar

3-5 tablespoon of irish cream

whisk them together till you like the texture of it.

Whiskey Ganache

1 cup chocolate

2/3 cup cream

1 tablespoon butter

2-3 tablespoons whiskey

heat the cream. then add chocolate off heat then add the butter and whiskey. stir till shiny and smooth.

Peppermint Pattie Brownies

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So I’m a mint chocolate lover, and when is better time to have mint and chocolate together?

Christmas is a prime time for mint to shine. I mean who made that rule? I like mint year round but whatever I guess my vote doesn’t count. I find it rather refreshing.

Either way every time I say Peppermint Pattie I think of Charlie Brown. Then it makes me want watch It’s Christmas Charlie Brown! and then it also makes me  want to sing songs from it and I’m tone-deaf so be happy you don’t work with me. I can also do a pretty good rendition of Fat Guy in a Little Coat. So I’m totally off the subject.

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Yes This is a 3 layer brownie. A nice moist chocolate chip brownie, a thick white mint fondant like icing in the middle. just like a real peppermint pattie and a rich chocolate ganache on top. just go in indulge. I like to keep these in the fridge and eat them cold but they are good either way. I’m slicing these up into bite size piece this year and giving them as gifts!

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These brownies make me want to do cartwheels in the kitchen and have a party with unicorns and be in a festive mood. Maybe even name my daughter Peppermint, I feel sorry for my futrue children.

Possibly dance on tables but let be real we would have to drink a lot and I mean a lot for that to happen. or someone would have to be getting married or something…

Peppermint Pattie Brownies

Yield: 9-12 brownies (1 8×8 pan) Cook time 25 minutes

1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
1 cup granulated sugar
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
2/3 cup chocolate chips

peppermint pattie layer
2 cups powdered sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
3 tablespoons evaporated milk
1/4 teaspoon vegetable oil
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 teaspoon peppermint extract

ganache
3.5 ounces dark chocolate, chopped
2.5 tablespoons heavy cream

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease an 8×8 baking pan with butter or nonstick spray.

In a large bowl, combine melted butter with sugar and vanilla extract, whisking until combined and almost smooth. Whisk in each egg one at a time, stirring until a smooth batter forms. Add in flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt, stirring until combined. Fold in chocolate chips. Spread batter in the 8×8 baking dish and bake for 25-30 minutes until set. Remove and let cool.

While brownies are cooling, add powdered sugar, butter, milk, vegetable oil, vanilla and peppermint extracts to the bowl of an electric mixer. Beat until smooth and creamy. Pour over brownies and spread in an even layer with a spoon or spatula. Place in the refrigerator until set, about 30 minutes.

To make ganache, heat heavy cream until warm and pour it over chopped chocolate. Stir for a few minutes until totally combined, smooth and creamy. Spread over the top of the peppermint layer or cut brownies first and spoon over top. I love these refrigerated!

holiday 143To die for. Yum!